There is a huge gap in these diary entries. The last time I shared a dinner diary was in January. Something happened and days began to blur while I was with my mom. I was eating, yes, but there were weeks on end where I only ate a grilled chicken salad. It was the easiest thing to make and my brother was no longer eating with my Mom and I. She was working her way through the food she had in her pantry, and all of it was filled with gluten.
Some nights I just ate popcorn.
It all feels like a haze, to be honest. Rarely, did I eat with Jon and when I did, it was always simple or we would go out to eat tacos at the local Mexican place in Idyllwild.
There was food. I was eating. But there is an overall sense of scarcity to the entire 3 month period. Scarcity of flavor, space, variety, joy. Eating just became about patching up hunger so that I could keep moving forward.
I wish I had been able to keep things anchored better. Somehow, if I could have kept myself present enough, perhaps I could have infused this time with something more healing or rooted in celebrating life. But after the first month there, I lost a lot of energy for anything beyond the most essential things. I wasn’t expecting all this to be so hard and emotionally jarring.
Things are more settled now even though Jon and I are back in Maui to sell off most of what we own and let go of our home here. There is more space to my days and my mom and brother are in better places, so the worry is much less.
I’m in my kitchen now and have the brain space to think about what I’d like to eat and make for us. We haven’t been here a full week and already my body is feeling so much better. It’s amazing.
The majority of this week was spent in making various types of Mexican food, particularly party nosh food, as we hosted a get together at our place on the weekend. Because of that, you’ll notice a lot of tacos, tamales and burritos on the menus below. The Mung Bean Koftas I made were spectacular and the recipe will show up on the website soon.
Monday April 11, 2016 – Maui. Jon and I. Tofu Pad Thai with extra egg. I always want extra egg.
Tuesday April 12, 2016 – Maui. Jon and I. Big bowl of salad. I needed light and crunchy with a good dose of creamy avo.
Wednesday April 13, 2016 – Maui. Jon and I. Mung bean koftas with a yogurt cilantro mango sauce, white rice, and a hot piece of naan for Jon. It was delicious
Thursday April 14, 2016 – Maui. Jon and I. Potato tacos, with a killer cilantro pesto sauce.
Friday April 15, 2016 – Maui. Jon and I. Tamales with the guacamole.
Saturday April 16, 2016 – Maui. Jon and I. We had a party with a bunch of Mexican finger foods, chips and various dips, etc. That evening, both of us still full from the day, we noshed on various left overs. Among them a killer 7 layer dip I made that made for a great burrito filler for Jon.
Sunday April 17, 2016 – Maui. Jon and I. More left overs! He made himself another burrito, I had the rest of the chicken tamales.